Remember that great line from Jesus Christ that went ‘Love your neighbour as your self?’ It’s a great pity that many of us don’t heed this advice a little more. The crux of the matter is that J.C. presumes that we love ourselves in the first place. It’s a given. We are great as we are. He’s not saying we should love others more than our selves but rather that we love our selves and others equally.
Does that make sense? We lay a lot of guilt trips on ourselves that we are bad or not good enough. We spend a lot of time pretending to be someone other than who we really are because we haven’t discovered a loving relationship with ourselves.
It’s not about changing ourselves to become better, its more ‘Hey girl you’re really ok, you know that?” If you never did another thing in your life, you’d still be ok. But you don’t believe it do you? How could that be?
We can blame it on our parents to a certain extent. Why not, it’s their fault that we are like we are isn’t it? Let’s pass the buck to our parents. Many people have experienced extreme hardships in their young lives and still manage to be able to love themselves and their world.
But children who are brought up in a very loving, nurturing environment and encouraged to step out and explore their world with lots of support will have the capacity to love themselves to a greater degree than children who didn’t.
Looking at ourselves this way is very different from all the self help courses around which are set to changing the way we are. OK, once you love yourself and make peace with yourself and accept yourself, then and only then are you in a position of moving forward with all that self development stuff.
And to harp on the subject The reason that we may not be able to love or have compassion for others is that we have not yet been able to love and have compassion for ourselves. Get it?
‘But how can I love and accept myself?’ I hear you ask.
Just do it. Get to know the real you. sit quietly with yourself. Enjoy being with yourself warts and all.
We all have pain and problems in our lives and running away from them is not the answer. Learn to accept them and deal with them.
11 Baby steps to building a relationship with yourself
1) Face yourself.
2) Observe yourself.
3) Be kind to yourself.
4 Be kind to others.
5) Accept yourself warts and all.
6) Take a pride in your appearance.
7) Take a pride in what you love to do.
8) Build a relationship with yourself.
9) Forgive yourself.
10) Talk to yourself
11) Prioritise yourself
12) Challenge yourself
All relationships are hard work and take time and energy. And your relationship with yourself will also take time and energy. And yes, it will be worth it in the end.
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