In the beginning was mother and father and as we grew there was teddy. And if life worked out the way it is supposed to, we felt safe and loved.
Milk magically appeared, our nappies were frequently changed, our cries were hushed and all was right with the world
When our needs were anticipated we felt secure but sometimes when our needs were not always met we felt vulnerable, abandoned and afraid.
We learned to love mother’s smile and fear her anger.
If we received ‘good enough’ physical and psychological nurturing and encouraged to be our own independent little person then we stepped out into this world with confidence and courage.
But if we lacked basic love and concern then we are emotionally handicapped. We become conflicted between two desires, to move forward or to retreat.
Many of us face this conflict. We are stuck in lives that are unfulfilling. We settle for the mundane, the safe option.
We try to numb our pain by medicating with pills and alcohol or cigarettes. We sleep too much or we are always on the go never stopping lest we remember.
We kid ourselves that life is good that we are coping and we repress our pain into our unconscious, but we cannot hide from ourselves.
Some days the pain seeps out into consciousness relentlessly reminding us that we are living a lie.
It is at these times that we suffer dreadfully, drowning in fear and depression.
And then these feelings subside as we carefully rationalise them away again, back into the bottom storey of our unconscious.
Most days we cope by seeking distractions and when there are no distractions it takes all of our energy to stay on top of things. By constantly trying to keep our feelings hidden away we feel tired.
Sometimes we make a little progress of moving forward, of achieving a goal or doing something special that is remarkable for us.
We feel good and our hopes are high and we start to believe in ourselves but this feeling doesn’t last for long as we become overwhelmed with fear once again. Our goals and desires seem impossible and feelings of desperation return again and we are lost.
These feelings of fear, grief and helplessness lead to serious depression.
DEPRESSION is a loss of meaning and the absence of living an authentic life.
The amount of energy needed to overcome depression is enormous and very often it is only when our lives fall apart so badly and we cannot go any lower that we have to seek the professional help of a psychotherapist.
Whilst we tread water, life goes on but when life falls apart at the seams it is only then that we seek the help we need.
I have seen the cancerous nature of depression as it eats away at the lives of clients, friends and family members.
Many men and women are depressed, mostly women, and often they are not aware that they are depressed.
If you are feeling stuck, helpless and emotionally paralysed, then isn’t it time you did something about it?