To My Younger Self: Advice About Life, Love, and More

“Dear younger self, you’ve always been enough.” – Alex Elle


This month, I’ll be celebrating my 39th trip around the sun (I can’t believe this will be my last year in my 30s!), and I’m beyond excited about this new chapter. More than any of my previous birthdays, I feel an increased sense of gratitude for making it this far.

Each year, when my birthday comes around, I like to be alone to reflect on my life’s journey. What I’ve come to realize is that this is one of the happiest, healthiest seasons of my life (because I’ve put in the work to make it that way).

Going into chapter 39, I’ve pondered on the choices I’ve made over the years and how those choices have impacted my life, for better or worse. But mostly, I keep thinking about the younger version of me, which has become my inspiration to do better and be better going forward. I often wish I could turn back time and have a conversation with my younger self. I wish I could tell her she’s beautiful, even though she doesn’t believe it at times. In honor of my 39th birthday—I’ve compiled a list of 39 things I’d tell my younger self to prepare her for life, love, and everything in between.


  1. Don’t be discouraged if others are accomplishing things before you. Stay focused on your path. Every flower blooms in its own time.
  1. Friends come and go, but the true ones will always have a place in your heart.
  1. Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Be conscious of your thoughts.
  1. Trust your intuition. When you know, you know.
  1. It’s impossible to please everyone. So, focus on pleasing yourself.
  1. True love does exist, but it won’t come easy or without pain (great things rarely do).
  1. Know your worth… but don’t waste your time trying to prove it to anyone.
  1. People will treat you based on how you treat yourself. When you treat yourself well, others will follow suit!
  1. Keep going when life gets tough. God may allow you to bend, but He will never let you break.
  1. If you love someone, tell them.

Keep going when life gets tough. God may allow you to bend, but He will never let you break.

  1.  Self-love takes practice, but it will be completely worth the effort in the end.
  1.  You’ll never know until you try.
  1.  Motherhood will be the hardest—and the best thing—you’ll ever do.
  1.  Worry less and laugh more.
  1.  Things won’t always work out as planned. It’s OK—sometimes they’ll work out better.
Motivational message to my younger self, to keep on going.
  1.  What is meant to be will always find its way into your life. Always.
  1. Consistency will take you far in life.
  1. Big girls DO cry.
  1. Don’t let society dictate your happiness.
  1. You are stronger than you think.
  1. It’s not OK to take a break… it’s essential.
  1. Prioritize your passions.
Woman smiling as she thinks about her younger self.
  1. Don’t overthink things. Give your mind a chance to relax.
  1. Nobody’s perfect. Absolutely nobody.
  1. Mistakes are inevitable. Forgive yourself and keep growing.
  1. Don’t get lost in memories of your past or worries about your future. Embrace the present moments.
  1. Trust in God’s timing.
  1. Nothing is more important than your peace of mind.

Don’t get lost in memories of your past or worries about your future. Embrace the present moments.

  1. Everything has a way of working out—stay calm and have faith.
  1. You’re responsible for your growth.
  1. Never let fear stop you from living your life.
  1. Give yourself alone time. Because happiness starts with strengthening the relationship you have with yourself.
  1. Success and failure go hand in hand.
  1. Celebrate your progress (even the small wins).
  1. Finding your authentic voice takes time.
  1. Dreams don’t come true unless you take action.
  1. Get lost in simple pleasures more often.
  1. Don’t rush who you’re becoming.
  1. Love is an inside job.

Entering this new chapter of life has really given me a chance to reflect on my past journey. I’m reminded of all there is to be grateful for, and I’m walking boldly into the future.

Stepping into chapter 39, I’ve forged a deeper connection with my younger self. I’m falling more in love with who I once was, who I currently am, and who I’m in the process of becoming.

As I reflect on the wisdom I’ve gained over the years, I would tell my younger self to have no regrets about her journey. Because every life experience is a precious gift… a learning opportunity… and a chance at growth!

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96 responses to “To My Younger Self: Advice About Life, Love, and More”

  1. Abby Avatar

    Aw I love this and can relate to just about every point you made! Hoping you gain even more wisdom through happy times in your 39th chapter.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, Abby!

  2. Deshandra Randle Avatar
    Deshandra Randle

    Beautiful article and I feel it was very relatable and spot on. I’ve taken some time to reflect as well, #8 was the hardest for me to grasp, but I’m getting there! Thank you for sharing & Happy Birthday Too You!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      #8 was a hard one for me too, Deshandra. And many of these, I’m still learning… Btw, thanks for the birthday wishes!

  3. Giada Avatar

    I get self-conscious too as my birthday approaches…Great tips!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Same here Giada! Birthdays are my most reflective seasons. Thanks for reading.

  4. michelle Avatar

    I’m in my early 20’s and this just eyed opening

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      I remember that age, Michelle! You have so much more growth in store! Thanks for reading, love.

  5. LaToya Rachelle Avatar

    Love this! So many great lessons here. Happy birthday. 💕

  6. Virginia Ann Silas Avatar
    Virginia Ann Silas

    Great read! This article is so on point. I look forward to hearing what you have to say each month.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      That means a lot to hear! Glad you enjoyed it!

  7. Gina Leggio Avatar

    These are all great gems of wisdom. Thanks so much!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Thanks for reading, Gina!

  8. Monique Avatar
    Monique

    I don’t know how you know it, but these are the exact things I would tell myself. The connection is real. Great read!!!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Glad you enjoyed it, love! ❤️

    2. Tanecia Avatar

      These are things I wish to tell myself! Things that can be hard lessons to learn. I love this!!!! You have a new subscriber.

  9. Molly | Transatlantic Notes Avatar

    All of these things you’ve shared are so wonderful and encouraging; we all experience things when we were younger that may have caused us upset of doubt, etc and it’s so amazing to look back and see how far we came. It is lovely to give our younger selves advice as it speaks directly to who we are right now (I did something similar on my site and it proved cathartic). Thanks for sharing, and Happy Birthday for this month!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Molly! And I’m glad you found this post to be encouraging. I look forward to checking out your site to read your post on this topic!

  10. Brandi Sunrises2Sunsets Avatar

    So great. #37 is my focus now- Get lost in simple pleasures more often.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Agreed, Brandi! #37 is so important!

  11. Marie Avatar
    Marie

    My favorite reminder- “people will treat you based on how you treat yourself.” Wonderful list!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      It took me a long time to learn that one, Marie. But now I understand. You really do have to teach people how to treat you. Thanks for reading, hun!

  12. Moumita Avatar
    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Glad you found this post to be inspiring, Moumita!

  13. Catherine Avatar
    Catherine

    So beautiful! I would love to tell my younger self most of these as well. I hope you have a wonderful year #39!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Thanks, Catherine!

  14. long hanna Avatar

    Absolutely love this post! But you number one right from the start hit me hard! Something to think about….

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Thanks for reading, Hanna! #1 definitely takes practice. Sometimes it’s hard not to compare our journeys to others.

  15. Yufi Mukut Avatar

    Love this inspiring list, 32 and 33 are my fav. Thank you for sharing this great post.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Glad you enjoyed this post, Yufi. Thanks for reading!

  16. Hilary Overcash Avatar

    I love this list! I’m turning 38 soon so would be a great time to make my own list. Number #13 is my favorite. Motherhood is so hard but the most precious thing!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Lol… Motherhood is definitely a wild journey, Hilary! And I would love to read that list.

  17. Alina Avatar

    This really gave me all the feel goods. I’m 35 and going through a 1/3 life crisis so a lot or all of these things I needed to hear!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      So glad this list inspired you, Alina. Wishing you continued growth!

  18. Kelsea Avatar
    Kelsea

    Love this! Awesome advice!

  19. Jen Avatar

    Love this! I often think back on things I would tell myself! It’s great to keep these type of lists! Thank you for sharing!

  20. Pantea Avatar

    What a beautifully written piece of what you’d tell your younger self! I am curious how you’ll feel once you’re 40!

  21. Kate Allyson Avatar

    These are all so true!

    I just turned 40 and I wish I knew these things in my teens. But life doesn’t work that way, we have to learn things the hard way sometimes. 🙂

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      So true, Kate. If only we knew then what we know now. But of course, that would make life too easy, right?!

  22. Elle L Robinson Avatar

    Sooo much learning in 39 years!!!! It was my 29th birthday yesterday. Love my Virgo sisters.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Happy 29th birthday, Elle!

    2. Deanne Roye Avatar

      Love all this advice. Enjoy your birthday.

  23. Danielle Avatar

    Hey there! 🌟 I really enjoyed reading your post. It’s like a treasure trove of wisdom and advice, and so many of those hit home. Happy Birthday wishes to you! 🎂🎉

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      So glad this post resonated with you, Danielle! And thanks for the birthday wishes!

  24. Elexus Liggins Avatar

    This is great advice! Quite uplifting and inspirational.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Glad to hear it, Elexus!

  25. Sel Avatar

    Am I crying? Maybe a little bit. Love to see all these lessons and how so many of us resonate with them.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Lol! It’s OK to cry, Sel… I’m glad to hear that this post resonated with you and so many others!

  26. Belle Avatar

    Love love Love this!!! I’ll be repeating your 39 things to myself regularly (plus adding a couple more as I just turned 42 🙈

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Awesome! Glad you enjoyed my list, and happy belated birthday, Belle!

  27. Melanie O'Brien Avatar

    Totally agree with number 32. I love to have alone time.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      It makes all the difference, Melanie!

  28. Stephanie Avatar

    Great advice to our younger selves!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Thanks, Stephanie!

  29. Kaci Avatar

    This one resonated with me big time: “Motherhood will be the hardest—and the best thing—you’ll ever do.” Yesss.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      The whole truth, Kaci! Thanks for reading.

  30. Kay Avatar

    Wow! So nice to read a blog full of positivity, I wonder what you will write for your 40th? I am 20+ years ahead of you and I find your words wise and helpful. We are the only person we get to spend our whole life with, so we better be best pals with ourselves!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kay! Glad you enjoyed this post. I’m eager to see what life lessons I’ll gain over this next year. I’m sure I’ll have a lot more insight to share for my 40th. 😉

  31. Gia Avatar
    Gia

    Love this! I will be sharing with my 22 year old daughter!

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Awesome, Gia! Hope she enjoys it.

  32. Esther Avatar

    You’re responsible for your growth.
    This is the one that hit me the most. I wish I knew this earlier. Thank you for sharing these amazing information.
    God bless you 🙏.

  33. John Rowe Avatar

    I totally agree about consistency. I wish I had known that when I was younger. The other is trusting your intuition. So important to listen to what you feel.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Thanks for reading, John! I wish I knew so many of these lessons when I was younger. Experience really is the best teacher!

  34. Emily Avatar
    Emily

    Big girls do cry resonated with me. I recently lost my mother and almost feel ashamed when I need to cry it out. It’s nice to validated.

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      I’m truly sorry about your loss, Emily. And yes, it’s more than OK to cry it out. Sending you lots of love and strength. ❤️

  35. Hanna Avatar

    This is a agree post a specially about listening to your own intuition!

  36. Marijana Čuvalo Avatar

    Dreams don’t come true unless you take action.
    This has been a big one for me. It all started when I woke up and realized I was creating a life that did not align with my values. I was ‘dreaming’ about things I didn’t want. Now that I dream about things that align with my values, it has become easier to take action.
    Love this post. Great way to celebrate you and your 39 years. Cheers

    1. Sheenia Denae Avatar

      Glad to hear it, Marijana! Good luck on going after your dreams.

  37. Jackie at The Wildflower Wifey Avatar

    First of all…happy birth month! But secondly, wow! What great little nuggets of wisdom. So many good things in this post. It’s amazing what we realize we’ve learned when we take the time to self reflect. Thank you for sharing that with us!

  38. Jackie at The Wildflower Wifey Avatar

    First of all…happy birth month! But secondly, wow! What great nuggets of wisdom. It’s amazing what we realize we’ve learned when we sit down and self reflect. Thank you for sharing it with us!

  39. Dolores Donohue Avatar
    Dolores Donohue

    This was a great read for a mom of 6 also 39 🙂 it’s good to know we’re not alone.❤️

  40. Debbie Avatar

    Happy early birthday! I love all your wisdom is this post! I think anytime we get near a milestone birthday reflection is essential as is learning things for the next chapter of life.

  41. Lani Avatar

    It’s impossible to please everyone! This is so true. Might as well do what you want to do!

  42. Kerona Avatar

    You do not look a day over 30!!!! I love this post and the lessons and happy early birthday!! I hope you have an amazing one when it comes!!

  43. Grace Karki Avatar
    Grace Karki

    Loved all of the advice. As someone who is younger. I appreciate it ❤

  44. Literally Laurie Avatar

    Thanks so much for this! Inspiring!

  45. Olga Avatar
    Olga

    I love your list of thoughts about life. I’m 42 and I still try to accept that friends come and go. Thank you for inspiration and good advice.

  46. Deanna | Life By Deanna Avatar

    These are all great! Good reminders for anyone at any age.

  47. Karen Avatar

    So many good things here. I love #33. Failure has given me some of my best life lessons.

  48. Tee Avatar

    This is sucha lovely post! Thanks for sharing.

  49. Tracy McHugh Avatar
    Tracy McHugh

    Yes to all of these! But these stuck out a lot:
    -Don’t be discouraged if others are accomplishing things before you
    -Stay focused on YOUR path
    -Friends come and go
    – Trust your intuition.

  50. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    The list I didnt know I needed! Love it, and thanks for sharing.

  51. Susan Avatar

    Preach! I felt like I was in the choir raising my arms while I read over all of these points! So many wise and wonderful things here, I can’t decide which are my favorites because I love all of them!

  52. Hari Avatar

    Life in 30s provide more meaning and wisdom. Many relatable points in this post. I am so happy that you’ll be stepping into your fantastic 40s really soon. Life is truly a wonderful journey and all the very best!

  53. Crystal Avatar

    First I want to say Happy Birthday! Secondly, you’ve provided a ton of wisdom in this post! I’m glad you learned all of these things so that your forties and beyond can be transforming for you and those around you.

  54. Mandy Avatar

    These are really beautiful and so true. Thanks for sharing.

  55. Lydiah Avatar

    Enjoy your last chapter of 3rd floor and let self love win.

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  57. Sarah Avatar

    This is such a great list of things to tell your younger self. I think a lot of us can benefit from these. It’s good to remind ourselves of these important things now and then.

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  60. JRC Avatar

    So many beautiful and timeless reminders in this post. Thanks for sharing.

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  62. Deborah Ayala Avatar

    I want to to thank you for this good read!! I absolutely loved every little bit of it.

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